not lost.

ad infinitum

in the beginning

a set of chemical processes

launches our lives into being

and from that instant

we receive approximately

3 billion heartbeats


another set of processes

takes over

upon our deaths

turning us into...


something else



or something


"we aren't beings

we're processes"


so maybe

that's it then

a mere

3 billion heartbeats

an internal chronometer

to time the march

of our individual

collection of processes

within the unfathomable parade

of the collection of processes

that belong

to our universe

it too

was born

and will die


in about a googol years

i wonder how many heartbeats the universe receives

but my mind rebels

against the idea

of a universe dying

of our universe dying

i'd rather stay close

to the idea of infinity

to the idea of eternity

to the idea of transformation

and reason that

the big bang

had a beginning

and that beginning

was a middle

or an end

of another middle

or another beginning...

ad infinitum

and our universe

is expanding

or dying

like hella fast

and will arrive

at something

like an end

or a death

which could be the middle

or the beginning

of something else

that could be born

from its remnants

or its ashes

or dust

or something


that will then give birth

to another

collection of processes

that launch another


ad infinitum

of course i'd rather

believe in

(have faith in)

this infinite and eternal

cascade of collected processes

than think of the one thing

that we're all connected to

born into

created from

coming to

its unresurrectable end

the idea

of the universe's permanent death

saddens me

as much as the death

of any beloved being

but maybe

in a googol years

the universe

would have figured out a way

to upload its consciousness into some form

that could be shipped to another universe

or maybe all of the universes in the multiverse

are facing the same existential crisis

and they've created a council to deal with it

in some neutral forum of universes

with some acronym like


make of that what you will

but maybe

we only have 3 billion heartbeats

to live

and the universe only has a googol years left

to be


the end

musings inspired by "In a Googol Years, Our Universe Will Be Empty" by Jenny Luna via Mother Jones

continuous climb

lego lemonade