the try


the try

we’ve all derided it

we’ve all done it

the doomed attempt

to be

something

anything

other than

what and who

we are

i’ve been wondering

about what makes

the try

so abhorrent

and so prevalent

i think

it comes down

to two points

one

the try

admits weaknesses

which we all have

and two

the try

admits inauthenticity

which we all shun

hypocritically

we feel

an innate

aversion to

the try

because

it admits

the two-bits

of ourselves

that we often

despise the most

the wanting

in the weakness

and the fraudulence

in the inauthenticity

we all want to be

the thing that

we pretend to be

ergo "fake it 'til you make it"

but that wanting

that striving

means we must face

the fact that

we are not

the thing

at least not yet

and that terrifies us

it disgusts us

more than the feigned disgust

we throw at those we mock

for their translucent tries

we use our scorn

to distance ourselves

from the weak

and from their

inauthentic effort

because then

we can pretend

that we are not

like them

or worse

exactly like them

or worst

them

we want

to believe

that we are

strong

authentically so

and especially effortlessly so

hence

#nofilter

and #iwokeuplikethis

but we are

only genuinely

the best

at being

ourselves

and we are

only genuinely

the best

at living

our lives

our way

as we are

and if

we are

dissatisfied

with any part

of who we are

and how we live

then we succumb to

the distasteful try

and hope

that no one calls us out

but

our society

values effortless perfection

no matter how artful the performance

and

our technology

rewards shaming

those of us who fail to conceal our artifice

so

we blast each other

we blast ourselves

for falling short

of the impossible images

streaming from today’s fake feeds

of easy

genuine

nonexistent

perfection

and we forget

that what we want

to emulate

to try

to be

is not perfection

but perfected deceit

and i want

to belive

that we

do not

want that

not genuinely

not really

but we are all duped

by the applauding likes

the appreciating thumbs

and the swarm of hearts

that our antisocial media algorithms

ensure we consume and crave daily

though they cripple our connections

to each other

to ourselves

because

on the flip side

of those likes

and thumbs

and hearts

are

dislikes

and down votes

and trollish behavior

it is easier than ever

to share our tries

and to rebuke them

in order to run away

from our own fears

from our own inadequacies

perhaps

we all

could benefit

from a reminder

that

true strength

is

you

me

him

her

us

we

connected

and honest

brave

and present

with each other

with ourselves

and without

the try

and


do
or do not
there is
no try
— yoda

:)

yes

yes i had to do that

of course i had to do that

may the force be with you(r-strongest-and-truest-self)


musings inspired by The Ubiquitous Try